Money Machine

Well, I'm plugged back into the money machine.  My brother Joel noticed a change in me since I've had a job again.  He mentioned that I just seemed a little different.  Things have changed a little-

•  I can't remember the last time I was downstairs silk-screening

•  I can't remember the last time I rode the tote gote more than once in a week

•  I can't remember the last time I worked on the book I've been writing about my grandpa's life

•  I feel like my blogs have lost a little bit of their previous luster

It's not that I think having a job has sucked the creativity and fun out of my life.  I love my job.  The people I work with crack me up, and I love being around them.  It's just that my once blank pages of life now have these big drawings already on them and the only room I have to draw now is in the corners and margins.  I feel like I have to consciously make an effort to put my own creative juices onto the page rather than just flip through them, noticing the pictures already there (you're probably thinking, "Damn, this guy sure does bitch a lot about what everybody else has to go through," and I have absolutely nothing to say in my defense).

  I read my earlier (jobless) blogs and think, "Wow, this guy has a lot of fun.  I need to live my life more like that."  I've pondered whether hobo life was better than this one, and I think the only reason I might be able to answer that question in the positive is due to the fount of blessings gushing all around me (great, providing family).  I'm sure I could pursue creative ventures that didn't require any financial backing, but I have committed to pursue more than my own desires.  

For now, I face reality, and take my blank drawing pad to bed every night.

Brian